Don't Judge Me by My Past. Accept Me for Who I am Today.

Let go if u love something

2011-11-06T22:37:00.000-08:00

"Let go if u really love something, if it comes back to u, it's yours. If it doesn't, it wasn't." Flashbacking my previous, it was just like a drama. Never thought it just happen in my life, which complete me. Yes, I believe it was a test from God. He want me to learn. Learn to be patience, be rational, be strong n be positive. Test in life never stop, keep approaches everyday. It was really tiring n the strength of giving up is very strong. I just can't stand anymore. Positive positive!! Just keep praying. With God strength n blessings, everything is possible. Don't give up in dreams. Dreams will come true, it just take time. Be patience. No rush.

Rumors Around

2010-08-25T19:15:00.000-07:00

Can you withstand rumors about you? The whole world is spreading rumors about you without acknowledge the true story. Everyone blame me, everyone backstab me, gossip about me, and spread rumors. Can u go through this, withstand it?
I can't believe everyone beside me, so hypocrite. Sympathy always be with him, help him, support him. When a girl dump her bf, it's the girl's fault. When a girl being dumped, also the girl's faults. Guys never have fault. This is the reality. When boy betrayed a girl, it's also the girl's fault, but not the boy.

Will you believe if i tell u the true story? Will u believe what i am telling is the true? Is anyone concern about it? How i felt now? I really do not feel to live here anymore as i need to withstand how the world talk about me days and days. it's the most painful and heartache feelings in the earth.

He back-stabing me in front of some juniors. He told everyone that he had lost feeling at me since 2 years ago(what were we 2 years ago?). He told everyone how i controlled him(he is the one who asked me to check so that i believe). This man is scary, so scary..

My story

2010-08-16T21:32:00.001-07:00

Anyone want to know my Fake love story..
First love was innocent,
It makes us blind, and act foolish,
We ignore so much advices,
Just to accept someone new in my life.

We didn't know, the advices were meaningful,
The advices guide me,
The advices alert me,
I was regret, I ignored all of them,
Just want to trust.

Sweet words to me were fake in previous , as he did the same thing to others.
Nobody will believe what i said bcz i had no prove.
Now i had it, it happens when we are still solving problems.
He flirt around, make story at others, and make different story to me.
I learnt how he complaint, blame and back-stab me at the girls, without considering my feelings. Without explaining why I acted so? Without telling the girls how he treated me.

He said it's our point of view, it was because of different religion.
I knew it was something else.
Pass few months, he made story again to a girl when we are still settled our problem.
She was totally different religion, and he knew he won't go for her till marriage, but because of WILL, they get together, and said that's his life, what should i care?!

Now, again, same thing happen again, different girl, different religion again. This is so terrible, it's our junior. He could hide it, he manage to cover it, manage to go along secretly... And said that they are nth. The most heartache was he make story again.. Make so much story..

This man is so scary.. I was truly blind!

The Truth

2010-08-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

Now, everyone see how bad i treat the fellow, especially the friends around this fellow. Everyone would blame me, don't understand why i can't just let go.
But what is the truth? The truth was hidden. And it was perfectly hidden. I myself was shocked too!
If they see what is the truth, and know the whole story, what will be their judgement?
I was the victim. I realised that i was blind at the very first. It's my fault, i ignore advices, i trust the whole, I was innocent with new experience. Now, i am awake from dreamland. And now i don't want to be the victim anymore.

Pergi Rumah Kawan

2010-08-09T04:10:00.000-07:00

At Meon house, everything was Red in the house, tidy clean and Very Red.. What a coincidence, i was wearing a red t-shirt too. Took a picture with the Red and really Red living room (curtain, sofa, pillow etc.). But so sayang, the pictures are spoilt as the camera being rain.
The most funnier part was, he asked us to look at the dark sky further away, and he said, it's raining over there. Slowly we walked home. SUDDENLY, rain heavily... Fuiiyooo... We ran like... Just want to reach home as soon as possible. Our feet never stop running to the house, at that moment, I asked why the house was so far away.
Finally, arrive at home, all were WET and so messy, but we laughed. It's an unforgettable experience.
Here, i would like to say, Thank you to my beloved friends...

One by One

2010-08-09T03:10:00.000-07:00

Problems,
Obstacles,
Approaching one by one.
They come together,
So suddenly,
without any signal and hint..

My heart,
Must be strong,
To accept and face it,
No matter how,
I must believe,
It won't last long,
Even it's painful,
Deep down in my heart..

2010-08-07T00:31:00.001-07:00

"Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there."

2010-08-05T03:31:00.000-07:00

"Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love's tragedies."

2010-08-04T05:42:00.000-07:00

"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust."

Fly Away

2010-07-30T21:56:00.000-07:00

4 weeks fly away..
Finally i had completed my internship, all the practical(practicum) in my degree course. But i really miss being in school than being in the institution. It's the life, the meaning of life between this 2 places. Another 4 months to go, then i will go to a branch new place again, brand new situation. I do not know where is it? And i also can't expect how i prefer the place? Maybe very like, or maybe hate it! No matter how, i must appreciate the remaining life as a students now..

Pretending and Acting

2010-07-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

Human, have so many types. I just can't stand this type, so hypocrite, very! In front of others, it shows a good, well images. Willing to help no matter how hard and troublesome the work it is. Keep on praising how great it R......n is. And when it makes the mistake, the reason and excuse is " I am just a human, i will also make mistake". Without guilt and feeling of sorry. What a .....!!!!
If everyone in this earth say the same thing, give the same excuse, and reasons, what will the world be? How the human discipline? What is the society now? i really do not understand why keep on cheating, breaking promise and hurting ppl this way? Why in the earth hv such human...? What had the R......n teach us? What had we learn from there?

FOCUS

2010-07-15T20:08:00.000-07:00

Focus on most important things.
Ya, some events in life really change me a lot. Gave a Great and Big lesson. I must try to withdraw them from me no matter how hard, how heartache I will be. I must create my own lost memory machine, to lose those memories. So sad to say that, i had mistrust everything here. No anymore!
More things to focus in Life. Another 4 months will go, and i will relief. Completely relief! I will build trust again towards the new environment and maybe new life?!
Life is so unexpected, up and down doesn't on plan. Well planning of life don't work. God has His plan. And also plan for me. Can i accept that?

Be Strong

2010-07-14T20:06:00.000-07:00

Too many bad things came to me at the same time. Too many, and of all of it were hurtful, deeply hurt! I kept asking myself, why these came to me? Why choose me?
When I didn't expect it at the very first, YOU gave me. But once i have it, YOU took it away from me.. WHY? Why did i did wrong? Why must treat me so? Please, i am only a girl, with a weak and easy broken heart. YOU killed my heart completely, and deeply. So DEEP, so Deep..

A month of Refresh

2010-06-27T22:46:00.000-07:00

Past 4 weeks was the best moments i had in the half year. Being in my hometown, with friends, family and cousins. Also my 1st valuable properties.. My lovely KAWAI K20 piano.. However, i only manage to be with it for a short 3 days..
With cousins and family the most comfortable and enjoyable people to be with. SING OUT ALOUD time! GAthering dinner And so much more..
This holiday, went to some places and also have some 1st time experience. Fun, enjoy and memorable. Lok Kawi ZOO for animals visiting.. Watched two 3D movies, Sherk final chapter and Toys' Story III. Wow.. Went to cinema 6 times in 4 weeks. 6 movies i had watched such as The KArate Kids, The A Team(watched in Kedah Cineplex), Prince of Persia--Sands of time, Knight and Day.
Also i went to KL to meet my best friend forever, Lilian. Manage to go to 1 Utama, Mid Valley, Sg Wang, KL Times Square, Suria KLCC, Sogo etc.. Having so much fun and shopping there.
Another best things i had was being in a BEST and special friend's place in Kedah. We spent our holiday in so many 1st time places such as Langkawi Underwater World, Cable car, Kilim Geoforest, Padang Besar, and some friends' house..
Miss this moments being with friends and visiting their place..
I wish i have chance again to do the same thing.

Just Fun!

2010-06-12T07:02:00.000-07:00

this week is a week with activities and outing. Had a number of 1st time also can say 1st experience. Was a tiring week, so many good things happen. But also a BIG bad problem came to me, which i hate so much to this fellow. I didn't know why this fellow did so, i felt tat was disgusting, so JERK!
But then, i shouldn't let the Jerk to bother my mood, emotion and rational. I hope i won't see Jerk anymore.
Good things should share and say...

Raining season, shipping delay..

2010-05-22T21:02:00.001-07:00

What had expected had disappointed me. Suppose my piano is now at home waiting for me this weekend. But then, due to raining seasons, shipping delayed. It will only arrive at home in mid of July. What a sad thing for me. Wasted a month June without practicing with a good piano.
However, there is still one little good news for me. Finally, i score my grade 3 theory examination. Got DISTINCTION. The feeling of happy is much more greater than when i got the highest pointer for Semester 6 in IPGM.
Going to sit for grade 5 theory exam in this September. I will strive hard for that. And get DISTINCTION again.
Michele, I can do it!

9 days left

2010-05-17T23:46:00.000-07:00

9 days left to be in Balung, Tawau.
5 days left for Action Research examination, yet nothing get into my mind. None of any AR knowledge that i master in mind.
But still life goes on, i am glad that i have so many wonderful plan during the most busiest moment. This holiday might be a wonderful and memorable or fruitful holiday for me. I will travel around at my place and also others' places. At the same time, money flows out like water in lakes..
What do i care? I just want to live happily, satisfy and so..

2 weeks like 2 years

2010-04-27T17:31:00.000-07:00

The remaining of 2 weeks practicum just left my partner and i. Wow, i was so depressed that time pass like ... Just so slow. Maybe it's the environment. Before that, i had lot of friends doing things 2gtr, i was tired, fully occupied even in the evening. Now, not anymore.

FInal Week of Withstand

2010-04-22T16:19:00.000-07:00

It's the final week now. Should enjoy the week very well. Ignore the negatives, take the positive. Life couldn't be perfect as well. Some negative person will appear appear in life. Just my luck!
Ok, let's forget about the fellow, and have fun! Luck won't goes on if ... still remain the same ATTITUDE..

Went for De-stress

2010-04-18T00:50:00.000-07:00

It's a need at least once a week, even though it might be a big spend. Sometimes it's a waste. But i honestly and deeply couldn't stand being .... by someONE!
Ya, it is an enjoyment of outing and eat lot of food i like. Especially with some close friends. I guess, one is enough so that argument is not much.
I was enjoyed for the past week, as i manage to eat that i never been to. It's was delicious, bravo..
Today, Thank for Sanjit, willing to came to town just for me. And had ice cream treat from her at Pizza Hut! Wow..

End of Togetherness

2010-04-17T06:35:00.000-07:00

Last night was a meaningful and wonderful night for me. One of that was the first time, i joined the chinese dance. Having 12 fellows in the same school doing practicum together, time really pass very soon.
Now, left me and my partner. Just 2 of us for another 2 weeks. In this 2 weeks, how would i feel? Fast or slow? I will see it myself later.

What Becomes Of The Broken Heart?

2010-04-15T17:31:00.000-07:00

Didn't have enough sleep/rest these few days. With overloaded works and activities. Just 2 words to describe, speechless tiredness... Some more, someone keep hurting me, deeply hurt me! I hate him! Hate the person with angle face, but evil heart! Sarcastic!!!!

Fruitful Practicum

2010-04-15T03:50:00.000-07:00

A tiring practicum, but a fruitful practicum as i had met so many new friends in S.K Bahagia. Tomorrow will be the last day for KDPM,KPLI and PISMP Sem5, i will miss some of them very much. And what is sure that the noisy atmosphere will turn silence. And laughter will be lessen day by day. Another 2 weeks to go. I wish i could stay in school then be a students in IPGM Twu.
Even how, i thank God that i had met and knew them. I thank God that part of bad n sad had gone. Even i am not recover wholly, I wish i will withstand the remaining 7 months in IP. At least i knew more nice Chinese food in Tawau.
Thank to all fellow partners in S.K. Bahagia too
Goodbye my friends is hard to die...

MY WAY

2010-04-11T19:49:00.000-07:00

Recently very like this songs

MY WAY

And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way

For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

Yes it was my way

Heart Sank

2010-04-04T01:47:00.000-07:00

Heart sank! Deeply sank! Deeply hurt! And wouldn't be care. People are selfish, think for themselves, think for own, and tend to hurt others. Why so? Why i had to withstand and need to gone through all these? Is it their job to treat people so? is it my responsible to accept these?!

Tired + Sleepless ... New Life

2010-03-28T22:32:00.000-07:00

As days pass, work are getting loaded. More and more work and job are coming to me. Sometimes, those came wasn't something that relevant to me. People keep giving the same reasons that " You are more expert in this field, i don't know how to do this." Trying to ignore and reject, but still i can't run away.
Someday, i want to be the BOSS, i want to give order, not receive order and obey what people said. No way! I must change my life..
This career totally would not be permanent, not something i proud of. Maybe some other thing is awaiting for me. But not what i am doing right now and in few years ahead. I must do something, so that i could have a different life.

Regret

2010-03-27T00:14:00.000-07:00

As I walk this land of broken dreams
I have visions of many things
But happiness is just an illusion
Filled with sadness and confusion
What becomes of the broken hearted
Who have love that's now departed
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind
Help me Please.

Fruits of love Grow all around
But for me they come a-tumbling down
Every day heart aches grow a little stronger
I can't stand this pain much longer
I walk in shadows searching for light
Cold and alone no comfort in sight
Hoping and praying for someone to care
Always moving and going nowhere

I'm searching though I don't succeed
Someone's love there's a growing need
All is lost there's no place for beginning
All that's left is an unhappy ending

Awaiting Something..

2010-03-16T04:29:00.000-07:00

Awaiting for something..
So excited now. I hope to have it ASAP. I am waiting its arrival. My lovely KAWAI K20 piano, my darling. Please be by my side soon. Please! As you are my only hope in life, only excitement in life, something so meaningful, so worth to have you. Please, not letting me wait too long for you..

Fortunately

2010-03-14T21:19:00.000-07:00

Thank God, Thank YOU very much for blessing me. Previous week definitely a very tough week for me. Blackout, fewer, cough, flu and much more. The night before observation, blackout and bad sore throat. It was so important for me, i must go to for the first observation with pale looking, sore throat, no voice. I need to shout aloud in class, and used sign language. So fortunate, everything goes fine on the day. All my hard work and and sacrifices been paid. With good result, i was surprised, and happy.
Today, i sat for my first music examination in my life. It's so excited, something different.. Exam was just over, with a relief heart, i am now waiting for my flight, heading my sweet home. I hope, a whole new life is waiting me there, and have a new health, new thinking and just want everything to be NEW.
Let's by gones be by gones...

Bit of Relief

2010-03-02T15:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the first time of observation from guiding teacher for science subject, after the observations and comments, days being better and having a bit of relief. Today another observation will be carried out for civic. Feeling is good as part of the responsibility is settled.

Over

2010-02-28T18:09:00.000-08:00

Chinese New Year is just over, Cap Goh Mei is also over. New month in western calendar, also in lunar calendar. Hopefully new hopes headings. Getting tired with these days, so routine, doing the same thing everyday, nothing special, nothing more. Seeing the same people every time, so bored. @ months just passed. Another 9 months to go, just want to get rid of here. An unpleasant moments in Tawau which changed me so much.

Meaningless

2010-02-20T06:23:00.000-08:00

It's getting more meaningless being in Tawau. No more motivation, as before, even how awful there was, i have a close person who accompany me. Even though he always scold me, advices me, i felt my days pass meaningful. Now not anymore, not anymore. The person i thought to be the one forever with, i thought will care and love me forever, i thought i can completely trusted, believe and depend with, it's not anymore. Now left are cheat, betrayed, ignorance, run away, irresponsible etc. I was wrong, my decision was wrong at 1st. I am very regret now. I am so regret as my love and my effort even my forgiveness was not appreciated. This is not the 1st time i was treated this way by, why he keeps hurting me this way? What's my fault?

Suck Man!

2010-02-17T20:36:00.000-08:00

I really couldn't imagine that i have such a unwanted relationship or 1st love in life. This fellow i though was a kinda nice and responsible man. Everyone said he is kind, good, worth to have such boyfriend. But things turn another way round, he betrayed me, have another girl, even one of them in same college, cheat me, fooled me, played with my sincerity and feelings, he wants to run away from problem run away from matter, and so he tells his parents, friends, back stab me. And he gave me empty hopes, accept what i gave, now he spoilt everything. Wasted my time, my youthful moments, my feelings and he wanna run away. He made a nice guys image in front of ppl, but treat me another way round. I am so regret. Why i am so stupid. Why i am so stupid and so foolish!!! I accepted him?

Empty Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T19:57:00.000-08:00

This year valentine is so empty, very empty. Ya, i did celebrate it for maybe twice only. Then things didn't go well after that. Ignorance and pretending busy and pretending ignoring had became part of our life. Now no more pretending and no more special day. This day is so SUCK for me! So Suck!!

Sweet Home

2010-02-12T23:22:00.000-08:00

Wow.. After 6 weeks suffering at Tawau. Finally i am at my sweet home now. It's really a great feeling being at home. Especially during this meaningful festival, Chinese New Year. Everything is special over here, and i also finally having special food here... Really great.

In Sch

2010-02-02T21:50:00.000-08:00

It's quite unfortunate to be here. This year is such a challenging year for me. The new is strict, troublesome and so many reasons for just 1 simple things. Here, i must learn to be patient, no matter how i dislike and tired to be. Hv to b hypocrite, be thick face, be brave and be ready for anything, or maybe everything. It's really not my cup of tea. Yes, i hv experienced in rural sch. There, i felt a lot, much better, much more better than now. God, give me strength and bravery to face all the challenges this year. I don't want to be excellent, i just want to hv satisfy life...

Hate Someone

2010-01-28T03:16:00.001-08:00

Why man can leave without any guilt any sorry. Why they hv the rights to chase n hurt peoples feelings? Why women are so weak that can be cheated by man? Why women believe man so much and willing to do anything? Why i m so stupid? Why i accept him at first? Why i can be pushed by him, to accept him 4 years ago? And now, he is the one who pushed me again to the end? To break? Does he has the rights? Why he can hv so many girls at the same time? He doesn't has any guilt? Why and why and why keep appearing in mind. Why? Just one word " I can't hv feeling at u now. I really hv no feeling at u now." That's the way he can do? Is that how he should treat me?

Wonder why?

2010-01-27T06:27:00.000-08:00

His heart is so far away even we are close. His heart is not here with me anymore. It doesn't belongs to me now. But why, i keep him? Why i keep him for? Something that hurt me so much, make fooled with my feelings, played my feelings, cheat me, lied to me. It's so scary! it's really scary! What a man i have? What a man i knew?! Why this happened on me? It just like a woman is hold by her husband every day but another hand of the man is texting new girl out there. The wife knows nothing.. And was so innocent. Such a dangerous man in world. He isn't a bad person, not doing criminal, behave good in front of others, helpful. But why he is willing to cheat her, play her feelings without any guilt? Why? is every man like this?

Refresh

2010-01-25T22:49:00.000-08:00

It's been a moment i am not expressing here. This write will be the most awesome feelings in my life. Never in life, i am and i was so hurt. It happened since past few years. But i ignore the the truth and not willing to accept the reality. I guess, now it's time for me to face it bravely. I thought i could make a different btwn us, there always are hopes btwn us, there will be miracle. However, things doesn't gone good at me. Yes, a miracle that shocked me! A MIRACLE that brings heartaches, hurts, hopeless, sadness and all sorts of negative things. I really can't stand anymore. Everyday heartache grows a little stronger, i really cannot stand these pain much longer.. Help me please! Help me! I just want to be the innocent girl. Dunno what so call L...

Again!

2009-10-04T02:00:00.000-07:00

Same things keep happening here. Just as usual, no water, poor internet line, sometimes no line, sometimes no current and quite often food finish. These are the things keep on happening and that made me bored enough to be with. Complaining and blaming and suggesting are no longer effective. Just be patient and withstand for the coming holiday. Just 7 weeks to go. Then a year last. Huh.. Can't wait!

The 4th Week

2009-07-21T19:37:00.000-07:00

In the previous practicum, this week will be the last week of practicum. In that moment, i was just enjoy in school and have fun with pupils. In this practicum this is just reach the middle of practicum. For the moment, everything goes fine and smooth. Thank God, for God's blessings.

Right Punishment?

2009-07-20T16:13:00.000-07:00

Is this the right punishment to those who like to say rude words to their friends. As soon as the disciplinary teacher allows pupils to report those who said rude words will be punished, hence, there were a bunch of pupils came to report, and there were a bunch of pupils were scolded. These poor pupils were asked to carry their own chair, stand right up there and said numerous times of "Bodoh". This is encouraging them or to stop them in bad behaving? What do you think?

A New Week

2009-07-19T18:36:00.000-07:00

As i awake this morning, i talked to myself, to be calm and to be positive in everything that i am going to do in this week. i should be confident and be brave when facing those i dislike and discomfort with. Just withstand for another 5 weeks. 5 weeks only. Come on Michele, i can do it! After these weeks, everything is over.

Unwanted Practicum

2009-07-18T22:04:00.000-07:00

This was my unwanted practicum compare to the previous one. I enjoyed the previous one even though i was very tired and everything seems very rush. I found so hard to cope with teachers there and they approached us with motives. I dislike that. Some are good and helpful, but some are disgusting. Compare to the previous school i went, i was really enjoyed and cope well with teachers there. they were friendly and really helpful. It wasn't a matter we were being so close in just the 2nd week, i liked to listen to their story, experience and they treat people sincerely. They respected others and always behave themselves. I liked the way they treat without motives. I was so sad that just a month being with them, i hope it will be 3 months or longer. But now in the school i am being now, going to stay for another 5 weeks. Time pass just like years. I always count down the days to leave that school. I felt uncomfortable and always need to pretend pretend and pretend! Why should life be that way?

3rd week of practicum

2009-07-14T05:33:00.000-07:00

These 2 days was really a tiring day. This week also considered as a starting of tiring week for me. Yesterday was been observed by guiding teacher while today is my guiding lecture. After the observation of my teaching and learning, i was totally exhausted and hungry. Looking for food and drinks all the way. Another 5 weeks and 3 days to go. Jia you!!!

Just think Positively

2009-07-06T16:48:00.000-07:00

My second phase of practicum is just nearby my hostel, now this time i am quite stressful as i do not really have much privacy and room of thinking. Most of the time, i was disturbed. Compare to the previous one, i had privacy where i could think as the room is peaceful, silence. This made me to generate more ideas and able to create much more songs for set induction. This time totally can't. This makes me feel stressful and uncomfortable. But this is life, what i should do is, just think positively. As i can't change the environment, so i have to change the way of thinking so that i would have better condition. Think of good thing and i am sure God always there with me. God will accompany me to handle all condition which cause uncomfortable. Bless me!

Extreme Weather

2009-06-10T01:48:00.000-07:00

KK weather is extreme hot everyday. If i am not mistaken, just a day rain which is last week at midnight. After that, not at all. Very hot! I guess much more hotter in KL. With polluted air which contribute more hot air to the atmosphere. Can i stand with that? Even in KK i am so so so much complain about the weather.

Distrust

2009-06-07T03:36:00.000-07:00

It's so difficult when the person who is so closed with, likes to be together with u only when times of happiness. But feel so troublesome and so dislike when facing problems. This person will tend to get mad, get dislike, maybe get rid of me. And a lot of assumptions while discussing. I was so upset to listen so much 'Haiz..." while discussing. Not all my fault in that matter but why it just like my fault? Why must make the conversation being so hard, difficult and .... I really hate when facing such situation with that person. I felt so hard and so tired being with this situation with this person. Why should matter between us? This person cannot accept my opinion, and i also cannot deal with him too. We had a lot of problem since the day we knew each other. I think it was a mistake at first. Why should we meet? Why should we know and be close? Can time turn back to the moment, and i think i will choose to be not so closed with this person.

Not Sleeping at Home

2009-06-03T20:40:00.000-07:00

I had came back to KK almost a week. In these nights, not even a night i am sleeping at home. I spent 2 nights at my new house, and the other nights in grandma house, accompanying her as my cousins went for a trip at Perth, Australia. They are coming back tomorrow night, maybe tomorrow night i might sleep at my new house till Saturday night. Haiz... I don't even have a chance to sleep at my own bed, maybe next week if possible. Wow.. This week pass quite soon, it's Thursday already. Time of happy, enjoy , having fun always pass very fast, but time that are difficult, always goes very slow. So, what do i wish actually? Time passing soon or slower? Benefits and disadvantages could be! Huh, so hard to decide.

I Have a Dream

2009-06-02T22:03:00.000-07:00

Yes, everyone should has a dream, not excluding me. I have a lot of dreams, not just one. And i wish that all will come true, i will fight for them. I always imagine how i am going to live in my future? Like nowadays human, being in their unchanged and unchallenged routine? Everyday doing the same thing? No, probably not for me. This is so bored and meaningless in life. Except what they are doing now are what they enjoying with. If so, this might consider meaningful for them. To fulfill my dreams, first of all, i will need to complete my degree in education in next year. At the same time, i am taking a piano course. I wish i could at least got grade 3 by next year end. This is my target or my wish? Both the same, so now i have to work hard to gain success. No sacrifices, no Victory! For the moment, these are what i dream of. I do not dare to think much further, because when too much things come into my mind, i tend to forget, take for granted and... Maybe i try some first before wishing for much more. Step by Step and win the Race...

Black Leather Shoes

2009-06-02T21:39:00.000-07:00

This holiday shouldn't be bored, suppose to be fun, pack and interesting. I will go to Kl in next Thursday, going to visit Bukit Tinggi, and the most important things will be shopping lo! Have to get myself more leather black shoes. Being in Tawau really spoil a lot of my leather shoes. One pair for 4 months. I thought it might last at least a year as it was branded shoes 'Alain Delon'. However, i was mistaken, i was shocked that it had just last for only 4 months. Luckily, it's comfortable on my feet, with nice appearance, convenient, and was cheap during the time i bought. (RM34.95 after 50% discount). KL got sales now, therefore, i must go to Sogo and get more shoes for my future use. Hahaha.. Just in cast only...

I ate a lot

2009-06-01T20:35:00.000-07:00

In just 3 days, i had given a lot of delicious food which i had awaited for so long. Haha... Dumpling, Burger King -- Double Cheese Burger, Milky Tea, deer meat, Yong Dou Fu, chocolate, yogurt and much more. I like them so much, and i am going to enjoy more delicious food soon. Coming i want to go to KBox karaoke with my cousins. Having fun there... hahaha

Difficult Line in Penampang

2009-06-01T20:21:00.000-07:00

Celcom broadband doesn't goes well at my hometown. Even at my old house, new house and grandma house. Haiz... Making life difficult without better internet line. Paying for not using. Now even lost contact with my beloved friends who are not in KK. What should i do to make better line received at my hometown?

Day to Go Back

2009-05-28T06:07:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be the day of relief as i will travel back to my hometown in the evening. Today i wasn't in mood as too many unfair incidents. I slept for the evening and once i was awake, i thought it was the next morning. Haha... As i awake, having a great headache, maybe i had slept too long, i was too tired of some work, and i am also tired of the poor management here. And still, they scold those people who aren't breaking the rules?! The same thing happened every time, why should not take action before thing come worst, but take action when something cannot turned back. Is that stupid?!

Dumpling day

2009-05-27T03:26:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be a Chinese celebration of 'Dumpling Festival'. Some of my Chinese friends had went back to their hometown celebrating this meaningful day with family. It's been 5 years i didn't have the chance to celebrate this festival with my family. The most important is i didn't eat it on the day as i am very far away from town which disallow me to get a dumpling. Haiz... This year is going to be the same again. I miss dumpling so much! Very very much!!

Merdeka!

2009-05-26T03:22:00.000-07:00

Finally, i had gone through all the exam paper. I didn't study for today paper especially physical education. Just answer with what is the logic! Now is totally relief and really tired. But still want to surf internet and play badminton tonight. Wow.. Such energetics i am! I just hate that why need to back to class 2ml in 8am? Too early！I wan to sleep until 10am. Haiz...

Multicultural and Chemistry Paper is Over

2009-05-20T21:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Multicultural paper, and today Chemistry paper has over too. I am happy and relief as i had released 2 huge stone deep from the bottom of my heart. Now i at least could spent some time to play in the internet. Even though there's some spot question i didn't read and got wrong during the exam, i'm glad and thank to God at least i manage to finish the paper on time, manage to done in a good condition. Some problem with my health condition which made me moody. Hopefully getting fine very very soon. All the best Michele! I can do it!

Preparation for Examination

2009-05-18T02:14:00.000-07:00

Preparation for examination is truely a tiring and producing headache things in the world. Especially when u do not know anything and going to sit for the exam very soon. Why do this happen? It's exist in my life since i stepped my feet into this lousy place. I do not want to comment anything as i was too tired and too sick of keep complaining this and that of this place. Just think of the positive side so that life will go on meaningful even it does seems so. Next friday i will go back to KK for a better and relaxing life. I truely hope that mum won't scold me all the time since i am so free at home. All i just want is relax for my brain.

Wedding Invatation under My Name

2009-05-17T04:35:00.000-07:00

Today is my first time went to wedding dinner under my name with few friends. Not representing my dad or my mum, but representing myself. We were invited to his (the person who drove us to school during practicum)and his wife wedding party. I was glad to be there as i was invited to a malay wedding dinner. I have been going to so many chinese wedding dinner at hotel or restaurant. But seldom have chance for other races wedding's. 2 hours time taken to be the place, this proof that how sincere were us to be there and gave our greatest wishes to them. Hoping they will have a great day of wedding and having the best honeymoon soon. Wow... Happy o...

Piano Rest 5 Weeks

2009-05-15T17:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the last piano class for this month as our tutor is not in for the following 2 weeks. Yesterday, everyhting was gone so fast, i wasn't expect that i could learn so fast and reach till the songs i do not learn till before. I was glad, suprised and happy that i can as so fast ans started new songs again after 5 weeks practise. If i learn and practise everday during the holidays, i guess i could finish the level 3 in 2 class time, or even just 1 class. This is my target during holiday and i would learn and practise hard. God please give me strengths and let me go to the 1st or 2nd grade sooner. Michele can do it!!!

Earth & Space

2009-05-14T01:35:00.000-07:00

SCE 3110 Earth and Space is an very interesting courses which was introduce for us in the early of the semester 5. In this courses, i will learn about what happens in the Earth and also what happen outside the Earth, which is the outerspace. Wow... It's been few days i discovered and study all these on my own and find out lot of the information in the library. Everything is amazing in our world and also outside the world. It was such an interesting course however i could got much information from lecture but i need to look out it myself. Definitely, there were so many terms and processes that i hardly understand, i need to read and imagine very carefully, deeply and continuously so that i won't forget and i won't get blur with those concepts. I truely hope that i can score well in this course on the exam in 25th of May. I can do it!

2009-05-13T05:41:00.000-07:00

Today i was totally in a mood that i am not prefer that much. I was down and i wondered what i was doing for the past 4 years in Tawau? Something meaningful? Something useful and be proud of? I do not really know. I felt that i had wasted so much time here, do nothing, having no contribution, and being more lazier and stupid as days pass on. Someone is just 4 years younger than me, i played and we used to grow up together under the same roof, but why now she is more successful than i did. Now she even has the chance to study overseas for the courses i been longed before, Pharmacy, i guess i have no chance to do that anymore. I am really jealous at her, i wish i can be like her. What actually i am doing in these years? What i am doing at Tawau actually?

Are your hormones making you fat?

2009-05-12T06:46:00.000-07:00

If you store fat ...ON UPPER ARMS

One hormone responsible is ... GLUCAGON This will be low if you’re not very active. Increasing levels of this hormone will help your body use fat as an energy source.

Food Tips
Have a breakfast high in low-fat protein and low-GI carbohydrates, like poached eggs and wholegrain toast, skim-milk smoothies, low-fat yoghurt and muesli

Exercise Tips
Include cardiovascular routines that target your upper arms, such as paddling, boxercise or combat classes. In addition, perform resistance training exercises, such as push-ups and dips.
If you store fat ... AROUND MID-SECTION

One hormone responsible is ... INSULIN This triggers fat storage in your fat cells and, when present in the blood, makes it impossible to burn off chub as fuel.

Food Tips
Include more hormone-friendly foods in your diet, such as Bürgen bread, wholemeal pasta, oats and legumes. Cut back on white bread, potatoes and soft drinks.

Exercise Tips
Try cardiovascular exercises that work your whole body and also include movement through your mid-section, such as rowing, running and swimming. Then add some resistance training – such as Pilates – to strengthen your core abdominal muscles.
If you store fat ... ON BOTTOM AND THIGHS

One hormone responsible is ... OESTROGEN.

This has a strong influence on where fat is distributed, especially for younger women who store flab around the hips, thighs and butt.

Food Tips
Eat unprocessed foods, with moderate amounts of lean protein and good fats (like nuts and avocadoes). Phytoestrogens found in soy and other plant foods may also help balance oestrogen levels.

Exercise Tips
Opt for cardiovascular exercise that targets your lower body, such as cycling, brisk walking or running. In addition, do a resistance training session that focuses on your bottom and thighs, such as lunges and squats.
If you store fat ... ALL OVER YOUR BODY!

One hormone responsible is ... GHRELIN This “hunger” hormone signals appetite stimulation to the brain. It’s also known to decrease the body’s ability to burn fat.

Food Tips
Aim for moderate portions of hormone-friendly fats in your diet, such as fish and seafood, avocadoes, linseeds and olives. Reduce saturated fats, such as beef and dairy.

Exercise Tips
Choose cardiovascular routines that work your whole body, such as rowing, and running with hand weights. Plus, resistance training exercises that use movement through multiple joints, such as squats, push-ups and lunges.

Piano Theory Exam

2009-05-12T06:15:00.000-07:00

I had decided after few having few advices from parents and friends. I decided to take theory exam on this coming August for Grade 2. Sure there might be some sacrifice for taking the examination, 2 days holidays being in Tawau,cannot see my elder brother who has come back from Russia for 2 days, being alone in hostel, transport problem, flight tickets back to KK and even the quite expensive registration fees for the exam. However, i must go through it as my experience and i must be happy if i had score well in this Examination. It's under the Australia or either the United State examination. God please lend me a help and bless me all the way to success! I can do it!

Is that Well Academic Performence is everything?

2009-05-07T04:17:00.000-07:00

What actually the lecturer is looking for in our assignments? Lot of things in file/portfolio but all is just copy/paste and print from the internet? A questions will very long answer which is just copy and paste from internet and pointless? It's more to nonsense elaboration. Or answers that are from our own thinking but short and meaningful? What actually my lecturer is looking for? Is that only the questions with very long answer could be higher marks and are qualify to score A? I totally disagree with such thinking. Unless anything that written is out of topic. Even a long answer question when it is out of the point, it might be wrong, meaningless and no way for A. I won't do as what my lecturer did in future when i am a teacher. Everyone could pass and Score A if they reach the requirement. But if somebody do something more than that, they could get higher but not very different from those who only do for the requirement.

Semester Examination

2009-05-06T04:35:00.000-07:00

Semester 5 exam is approaching. Start on 20th of May, it's exactly 14 days from now, and nothing i know for my exam. I am so suprised that why i could be so steady and no feeling towards what are going to happen soon. Exam and i don have any preparation, i even not yet completed my assignment and all task needed. All i have in my mind is another 3 weeks to go for holiday, and my piano lesson. I guess inside of my body there are too much lazy worms and i really do not have any motivation to do my work neither to revision. What happen to me?

My New Home

2009-05-05T04:43:00.000-07:00

Went back on KK last Thursday, had made me realised that on March b4 i came to Tawau, my cupboard was broke. It's so hard for me to find my clothes once i got back as my clothes were here and there. But all this will be settle till i move into my new home, own room and having my own big cupboard. Finally, my clothes and my stuffs have their home. Maybe this coming holiday on May, i might move into new house and be having own privacy later. Besides, there could received better coverage for my Celcom broadband. And so, i won't need to waste money to pay for the broadband without using it. Finally finally and finally. I am glad and awaiting for he day there...

PSK MacroTeaching

2009-04-28T06:16:00.000-07:00

Macroteaching in class (students=classmates) was really an difficult and tiring jobs than the actual teaching in school where i face my real students. Today i was totally out of my mind and what i could do is just assume some of them are not talking. Haha... In actual situation, students are innocent, are talkative, bit silent than classmate. However, they are poor at receiving instruction, understand instruction, tend to do work slow, lack of creativity. Today experience was great and interesting, at least i am now free of burden of another assignment. Good for me!!

Freedom? No way here!

2009-04-25T23:50:00.000-07:00

I had been chosen to a career which doesn't my choices at first. This is also what i say as the last choice or when i have no choice, then only i will pick this career. But in order to please both my parents, i have to pick it as my first choice. Sometimes i will blame why i need or i must study this?! Why should i suffer here without basic need such as water and current. And upon graduation, i have to face another more challenging condition posting to a rural place with more poor facilities and etc etc? Why should i? I couldn't really enjoy my college and university life. With fun, entertainment, friends, hobbies and so on. I do not have that, and i truly do not enjoy being at here, and i hate this place very indeed!

Weekends

2009-04-22T16:43:00.000-07:00

Almost to the weekend, weekend will be my best days in week. Especially tomorrow, where i will go for piano lesson. This time, i had practice before i go for the class, so that i will learn faster and get into further grade soon. I feel so happy, enjoy and distress while playing piano and that's the way i could be positive. I will appreciate every chance that i could go to the class and do my best! Michele can do it!!

Disappointment

2009-04-21T01:12:00.000-07:00

Playing piano was my hobbies since i was young. I like to listen to the pure music that played by the musical instrumental. I wish i could someday be as successful as music people did, just hope that as i can play a whole song, then i would be very glad and happy. Now, i am grow and i have the chance to learn. But my tutor is so busy till she can't even get time to replace my class. I only could learn new thing from her once a week, but sometimes, i need to wait for 2 weeks only i would have chance to get the guidance... Disappointed la...

Love has condition?

2009-04-18T18:37:00.000-07:00

Does love had condition? Why there must be expectation in love? Why must someone change to be another person then only love is alive? Love means you will accept the lover weaknesses. Is this statement wrong? Why must ask to change but not help to change? Why in the world must have such a guy? There is a thousand of Why in my mind. My head is explode soon. Why must a guy treat a girl like that? Why there are condition to love? When the things couldn't do, is that love will decreasing? Love has decrease to 0 when i do not do what he expect. This is true! But why? I don understand. Can u please teach me?

Piano

2009-04-17T19:46:00.000-07:00

After a having a week rest from the piano practice, i was totally run out of everything about piano. My fingers were not so active anymore, neither my mind. And i really had just learn just few song. I couldn't play with 2 hands at the same time and i need to read the notes. Hahaha...

Gift from a Pupil

2009-04-16T06:48:00.001-07:00

Kee, this is my pupil in 5M. She is very hardworking. She is hardworking in answer every questions posted. I am thankful to her as she play a very important role in my lesson, which made my lesson more interesting and gave me the motivation to continue my lesson. Today, i received the first present form her, i was happy and i couldn't have the chance to thank her. Luckily i still have tomorrow to enter the class. To praise and thank for her help. Show you the gift she gave. It's very nice, pretty and useful. I like it very much!

Left Tomorrow

2009-04-16T05:11:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be my last day of teaching practice in school. Means i will complete my 1st session of practicum in SK Kem Kabota Tawau. It must be the best experienced i never had. I really love and enjoy to be in this school. Today, i was surprised that madam came suddenly and record my presenting of lesson. I was the first of this shooting and was really out of my mind. However, things goes well and smooth. My beloved pupils had gave their full co-operation even though they are famous with Noise Noise Noise. Haha... I was shocked to see that those naughty boys turned to be silent and excited when they were got into the camera. They enjoyed it and being glad to be in TV. Kononnya.... I was happy and satisfied with they performance and i believe they are better than what other thinks. Thank you very much, budak 5 Putra 2009.

Day Relief

2009-04-15T02:26:00.000-07:00

This morning i had just done the lesson with the observation of both my lecture and my guiding teacher. Relief, tired, luckily and rush i commented myself for my teaching today. I was glad to hear that i was the best among 6 under the supervision of my lecture. But if the best will be posted to rural area upon graduation, i hope i am not going to have the best again! I really do not want to be a "Guru Cemerlang" if the faith is like that. Haha.. I felt so relief now! Hurray!!!!

Original One!!

2009-04-14T08:27:00.000-07:00

Show you my new shoes. This is the shoes i bought in KK Nike sales on March. Wow... There were a lot of choices for me to pick or to choose. I was dilemma in choosing the best for me. No, for my feet. This finally the one i pick. It appearance was nice, beauty and i was attracted with this shoes at first. It is a shoes for tennis player. The price... Reasonable, cheap and had a great discount! The thoughts in my mind were, is that old stock? How could it be so cheap? 70 percent discount you know?! With hesitation, i looked for others and went home. I was regret that i didn't bought it straight. And so, i went to the shop again the following day. This time i bought it without hesitation. Now i am wearing it every week when i went to town, i am proud to have it on my feet and it could make me travels longer and further. Worth it!

Last for Tomorrow

2009-04-14T07:47:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be my last observation from both lecture and guiding teacher. I have prepared for the last battle and i quite sure my pupils might have fun for tomorrow lesson. What important is after the observation and evaluation, i am totally free from my first practicum. Means i will pass my teaching practice for the first session. For my first teaching practice at SK Kem Kabota Tawau, was truly a great experience for me. I met lots of kind and helpful teachers. Especially my guiding teacher Kak Salmah, she is a very kind, helpful and polite person. I am thankful and being glad to met and being under her guidance. I was so fortunate, lucky to have such a great guiding teacher. We have a surprise for her, we actually had bought her a Batik, where she can make a new Baju for herself. Quite expensive, however, we got cheaper price as my friends really great in bargaining. Haha... Honestly, i am having fun for my practicum in this school. I hope to be in that school for longer practicum, 3 months is ok for me. That must be great! I appreciate the help from every human in the school include the pupils. Having fun with them too...

Bad Ulcer

2009-04-11T20:53:00.000-07:00

Ulcer is something really bad grow in our mouth. It stops me to take delicious food as food in mouth touch touches the sensitive part, i will need to suffer a great pain. Not only when eating, for my career as a teacher, i need to talk. However, it is also pain when i open my mouth. I need to stop talking, so that it won't be touched and i won't feel suffer. How? I will be observed soon, what should i do to let it recover in 2 days.....?

Good Friday

2009-04-11T06:46:00.000-07:00

This weekend i have 3 days of holiday since friday. I made a right choice where i stayed at Monaco hotel with Sanjit for release tension, away for hostel, away from frustration, away from stress, away from all unhappiness. PC fair in at Tawau town, things wasn't cheap and not many choices. Few things i managed to get. As a conclusion, KK PC fair have more choice and cheaper. Haha... My friends, Yana and Sanjit got new laptop today

Teaching at School

2009-04-08T04:12:00.000-07:00

It's truly a great experience that i was teaching at school for almost 3 weeks. Another week to go, i will finish the requirement of teaching practice for this semester. Honestly, i enjoyed being in this school, SK KEM KABOTA TAWAU. All the teachers and staffs were nice, polite, friendly and helpful. I was so lucky to be post in this school for my first teaching practice and wish for the same post to same school for the following teaching practice. I am glad that my pupils are very kind,polite most important is they always listen to my instructions and advices. This truly help a lot in my lesson and produce a high quality of teaching and learning. I was happy to see the pupils enjoying the lesson and song i created. I wonder how could i be so creative to create so many song which they were having fun at. This is a great motivation for me to prepare more quality and active lesson. For the while, i satisfied with my teaching performance and hopefully i will maintain and keep my effort.

Nescafe

2009-04-01T08:13:00.000-07:00

Going to school for my teaching practise is really a good experience for me. However, there's truly a hard time for me as i need to wake up early in the morning at 5am. Plus with no water in hostel, i can't even have my favourite/motivation before going to class. Nescafe.. Please, time pass quick and fast Please...

My Career

2009-03-31T01:59:00.000-07:00

I started to feel that being a teacher is not what i wish and hoping for. I felt that this is a career which is not suitable for me. Will i be a teacher for the rest of my life? Or i will do something else?

Olahraga 2009

2009-03-07T05:20:00.001-08:00

Today is such a tiring day having sport for the whole day adding with the not enuf sleep since last night. However, all the hard works are paid when they announced that Mat Kilau finally not the last but had raised to the 2nd place. The runner up! Okla, compare to last last last. Tomorrow is the only resting day for me, and i am doubt whether i want to go to town or not. If i had miss the rest time, i might be tired later. Because there is another 2 programs awaiting for me for the whole next week. Huh...

Mum, I Love U.

2009-03-03T05:58:00.000-08:00

Today is the time i met my mum since last chinese new year. It's been a month already. When i saw her today, all sorts of negative thoughts abut my life in this suck higher education places turns nth. My heart felt calm to see her, and i am now start to miss her and want to see her very soon. Honestly, i am waiting for tomorrow and i will go and bring her to my hostel 2ml. Introduce my almost 6 years life here, and with her accompany, i will be strong will all tough. Mum, I Love You so much, ever after.

Wow... Great Weekends

2009-03-01T04:02:00.000-08:00

Even water is still not back as normal, well, it's consider a good start and hope as there were still water for 2 nights only. At least i could destress for that 2 nights la. Outing also fun. And what's the things that made me happy and glad was the piano lesson that i had registered on Friday. I was surprised and feel unbelievable that one day i will learn piano as this is so high class. Hahaha... This totally what i had dream of since i am small. Now i am grow and i am really happy i can learn it. Yeah!!!

Life Really Great with Friends Around...

2009-02-26T03:04:00.000-08:00

These are my friends. We've been 4 years together. Staying at the same place, coping with the same condition and situation. We've gone through lot of fun and pain together. Being together to solve problems, to laugh for the happiness, and share the tough with each other. I am glad i get to knew them and been with all my friends all the way, wherever we are. Doing assignments, share a bed together, camping, sing together, and also look for water everywhere around. Haha... it's really a great time. Now we are so close to each other, even though sometimes there is communication problem for me, since i am still not expert speaking in Malay all the time. But i have learnt a lot from these buddies. It doesn't seem to be a big deal! And i am happy Learning all stuffs from these relationships. Hoenstly, i like all of them. And glad to recognise them. I am happy now, even though there are a lot of matter raising during my study life, i am glad to have them accompanying me and help each other all time. Friends.. My best Buddies, I love you guys very much!!! Muak! Muak! Thank you...

Wanna A Brand New Me!

2009-02-23T01:28:00.000-08:00

Haiz... Chinese says 'Haiz..' will cause the lost of happiness, chance, and lucks. If so, i really want to stop being like this and have a brand new me. But whatever that happened in my U life really demotivating me. I dislike the life being here and i really want a leave. Maybe i should think another way round? Be positive and appreciate what i am having right now? I want to be, but i am hard to be? Even my friends would say i look so bored and moodless on anything. Huh... What should i do?

Wonder what the actual problem?

2009-02-22T21:41:00.000-08:00

Why should it be like that?! Why no water crisis must happened? Just 2 days the water is backed, and now, no water again! I'm totally bored of this! All my plan is dumped. Activities compulsory?! Lecturing style unmotivated. How long should i get into this situation again? Why learning doesn't seem fun? Why learning environment is not conducive? How could these be?

Water is back!

2009-02-20T21:24:00.000-08:00

Huh... After a week suffering form the no water dilemma, now life seems to be better and hopeful. It's is more motivating to exercise now, and do more house chores. But one thing still remain the same, that is the laziness that everyone practice. Me myself also remain lazy, unmotivated to do any assignments as the lecturers do not mind on it.

Real Life

2009-02-18T18:23:00.000-08:00

Being at own home really the greatest thing in the world. Not the feeling of just being at home, but the feeling of getting along with own family, seeing and gathering with cousins, having fun together and laughing together. Being with parents, there are a lot of matters doesn't seems to be my problems. My parents will settle, handle and solve all their problems include ours. I don't even realised i have grow and been an adult. Huh... Till now, when problems come to me, when i m facing what suppose to be in real life. About social, the inhumane in this world, then i know what my parents felt before. Haiz... Am i still young to experience sth cruel outside of my sweet sweet home? This is the time for me to see what actually happen outside, to know and understand the different type of human, different situation i might have to be. Some might be shocked, some might be good. It's all depends on how we are going to think. Positively again? How positive ones could be? I'm curious.

Unfair Nightmare

2009-02-17T19:13:00.000-08:00

Few days ago,i had just talked to myself that to think positively. But something that had happened yesterday was really a shocked to me and i was totally dilemma and mad that i was being fooled by a "C" mobile phone services. The fellow dealer mistakenly brought me the different agreement and ask me to signed them in a rush. Now i have no option but to pay the accumulated amount even just in a month and 10 days. How awful i was yesterday. All my plan to buy this buy that had to be canceled out. I looked for the fellow dealer all the way and i had spent a lot of credit in order to contact and meet this fellow girl. She replied me today and she said that it was my fault to sign without reading thru the agreement. Yes! My fault. But in that situation, that fellow dealer ask to sign so many times in a short time. Don't even let me to think even to read, is that fair to me? I hope she will also learn from this even she isn't the victim bcz of her carelessness, she has contribute a prob to me. As for me, this truly a great lesson for me. I paid for this lesson so much. Honestly i am really not in the mood right now, everything i did i will remember that. I hardly forget how i was treated. Many of "What if" raised in my mind. Be positive?

Be yourself!

2009-02-16T18:46:00.000-08:00

Do not care of what people critic, not mind on what others say. But to be confident, to ignore negative and accept myself to what i am. Be glad that i'm still alive, i'm smart, i can think for the right. This is what i should be. And i should influence ppl to be the same as me. Having self confidences and proud. This thinking is sure to guide me to a happy life, practise positive attitude, and posses noble values. Sooner will be attractive and happy.

Think Less and Love yout Life MORE

2009-02-16T04:54:00.000-08:00

“How happy you are in your life is not due to chance or luck but to your attitude towards what happens to you.”

A Blessful Morning

2009-02-14T19:58:00.000-08:00

As i awake this morning, it's cloudy outside. Such a good day for outing, because i like this weather compare to sunny. When the sky look grey, my heart is calm. I would not think too much, but to appreciate and feel the weather today. Tot to outing, but i was too late because the bus had left early in the morning. Life could be difficult, but who never face problems? Should see things at the bright side, and always think positively. Thankful for the serene day which had made me so calm..

Happy Valentine Day

2009-02-14T05:30:00.000-08:00

Believe and communication are the most important things that should have in couples. Communication can avoid misunderstanding. Therefore, good communication should occur. It means that both must be talk to each other sincerely, honestly, and share like writing on a piece of paper. Furthermore,trust is another important element should have to maintain a good relationship. Without trusting ur partner, communication wouldn't help. Think b4 u act, rationally. This is what i m learning to be. Be positive!

Unmotivated Periods

2009-02-14T01:13:00.000-08:00

It's totally a bad feeling when u realised that someone u had trusted so much,had betrayed and cheated u. This is normal,i think. And i wonder why nowadays human being has such terrify characteristics? It's so unpredictable, so shocked to hear that someone who are so polite, will hurt people. Is that selfish so important in life? Is that a must to survive?

Chap Goh Mei 2009

2009-02-09T02:39:00.000-08:00

Today is the last day of Chinese new year, Chap Goh Mei. The moon should be round today, if i can see the moon tonight, it must be very beautiful and shinning. At here in institute, i totally miss my home reunion dinner with lot of delicious food that i would only can eat once in a year. It's time to say bye bye to them. See u guys again on next year. Besides, all wish all the couple happy valentine day. CHap Goh Mei it's chinese valentine day.

Miss Chap Goh Mei

2009-02-05T01:52:00.000-08:00

Time pass so fast. It's been a week i am here at Tawau Institute. Chinese new year is till around, going to Chap Goh Mei on Monday. I really wish to celebrate this day at my hometown but i have missed it 4 years alr. However, i am much more lucky than my elder brother who is in Russia now. It's already 6 years he doesn't have chance to celebrate cny at hometown. And i m quite sympathy to him as this year he is celebrating cny alone. All his friends have went to a Europe trip for 2 weeks. He has to stand for another year celebrating cny in western country and it is also the last year for him. I truly wish and awaiting for all of us being together for cny, Christmas and winter festival on 2011.

累了

2009-02-03T21:56:00.000-08:00

是时候休息了，放下脚步，看看四处。为了一个人，我真的好累！为甚么要为了一棵树而放弃了一片大林呢？我到底还在执著什么？有什么好犹豫的？不值得呀！放下了，说不定会有更好的呢？！慢慢来吧！终究，我可以放下和忘记的！我做得到！我一定可以。